are you ready??

as i've been counting down, the truth shall be revealed in just a few days. but what is "the truth"?? could it be one thing i've never told anyone that i've been hiding all these years? or just something i need to get off my chest? but how about this: what if it's several truths? lets be honest, i know quite a few people and of all of them they cannot possibly know what i know or wha i feel about them. maybe this whole "truth" thin is to get everything out in the open. maybe its mulitple truths. that being said, what could your truth from me be? think about it, long and hard. maybe i know one of your secrets and i want you to know that. maybe its how i truely feel about you. let me know what you think. to be honest, though, i dont think anyone even pays attention here. hmm....

let me tell you something...

when it comes down to it, i am pretty shy. M, i'm not sure if you'll ever read this, but if you do i want you to know something. I do like you, i like you alot actually. I know we are from two totally different backgrounds but for some reason i feel comfortable around you. It just feels natural. I'm assuming you dont feel quite the same way though. I think i've figured out something about you that took me a while to put my finger on. And if you do read this, ask me what it is. The thing about it, i don't want to rush into something. I've done that before and it hasn't turned out well, to say the least. I enjoy our time together and hope that someday soon we get to spend more than one day together...

me

so... for those of you playing our home game it looks lke the score is a bit lopsided. (home team losing, of course.) it has been this way for some time now. but what if i finally decided to level the playing field? would that maybe even the score a bit? i contemplate this thought in the silence of my room. would this fall upon deaf ears? just get lost in the mix of the hundreds of thousands of blogs already online? or would someone actually give the time of day to read this and disect it? understand it as fully as they can. that seems an awful lot of questions for such a short time. and i'm sure if you're just tuning in you might not be sure what i'm talking about. well, lets clear things up a bit.

in the grand scheme of things, i don't like to let people know who i am. frankly, they don't ever seem to care. this isn't a "poor pity me" cry for help, just a realization that i've come to through years of actually paying attention to those around me. as i said in an earlier post, i just don't lke talking about myself. its that simple, really. but what if i opened the floodgates and start letting people in on what i'm thinking and feling? souldi do it all at once, like ripping a bandage off? or should i spread it out and let every word sink in on its own? well...

i need music...

If you know me at all you know how much i love music. It's no secret that i have nearly 22000 songs on my ipod. And when it comes to what i'll listen to, i'll be honest: i'll listen to anything at least once. Granted i might not like it and won't listen to it again, at least i'll give it a try. Thats fair, right? And when it comes down to it, yes, i do have my favorites. Top 10 bands, albums and songs, just like everyone else. The thing that sets me apart from everyone else is this: when i like an artist, i want to hear everything they've ever done. I'm obsessive, in a sense, with that. I'll go out of my way to search for as much as possible just to see if one of those missing songs could be a new favorite from them.
And thats where the point of this post comes from. I hate it when someone says they're such a huge fan of some band, when all they've ever listened to are the same 5 songs. Unless, of course, said band has only ever done 5 songs. i'll admit that i've done this at some point in my life, but i don't do it often.

My half stupid-half smart phone sucks.

i'm attempting to post this from my phone to see if it will actually work. It took me a while to get it to even accept the fact that i can go online on my phone, let alone get to the point that i can post. I don't know how often i will be doing this but if it works, it might happen more often. Also, trying to type on the keyboard of my phone sucks and i don't have an enter button to move down to the next line. So... If all these thoughts seem like a run-on thought, i'm sorry. Deal with it. I get the feeling my hpone doesn't like me more othen than not as it constantly does the exact opposite of what i want it to do. You have to love modern technology, i know i do. If only i could afford a fully smart phone, this wouldn't be such a problem. Well, my thumbs are hurting and i'm very tired. I think i'll stop here for the night and see what happens with the post.

hmm... first attempt

so, this is my first attempt at this craziness. i suppose i've tried things like this before but never got the result i wanted, or something to that effect. i'm not quite sure what i'm planning on accomplishing on this site or why i need one but...it should be interesting. i think i might post some things i wouldn't normally put anywhere else and see if any of you are actually paying attention.

currently i am sitting at my parents' house, once again. i don't have internet at my apartment and i don't think i will for the remainder of this lease. we shall see. it is only two months away or so. i'll try to get back here to post more as much as possible but who knows what will happen. its hard to sit here and type something up when i usually only come here with my son. and when that happens i'm busy chasing him around now.

as i said earlier (at least mentioned) this first post will be meaningless, but if you're reading this i thank you for your time. i have some things that i have written or started to write some time ago that i have come across recently that i think i may rewrite or post on here. life, love, happiness, emotions, all that jazz.

be patient. more to come soon.